My life is over

Because throwing up gives me time. Because it’s relaxing, because it makes me skinny, because it’s the closest thing from running away, because it makes me better, because I can flush down all my troubles.

I’m so fucking fat. Fat fat fat. FAT. Because all I do is eat. Fuck me. Fuck the heat that I’m feeling. Fuck my fat body. Fuck my stomach and my gigantic thighs, my double chin.

I swear I try but if I don’t see blood if I don’t feel pain nothing is going to happen. I need to hurt myself.

It’s clear that no one can help me. I just want to runaway now.

I’m going to cut myself deep enough so they will take me to the hospital, afterwards I will be admitted into a mental institution.
I’m so desperate, I need to scape in some kind of way.

Clearly no one understands how I function.

Because I can’t even bite my nails correctly. Because I don’t have talent. Right?